14 Sure-fire ways to tell he's interested

Body language cannot be denied. It can be a better way of communicating than through words. I extracted these 14 foolproof signs that a man wants to be (much) more than friends, from a book called Superflirt, by relationship expert Tracey Cox.

1. He'll give you an eyebrow flash: When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they like us back they raise their eyebrows too.

2. His lips part:If he likes what he sees, his lips will automatically part for a moment when your eyes first lock.

3. His nostrils flare and his face generally "opens": The raised brows, parted lips, flaring nostrils and wide eyes give the whole face a friendly "open" expression.

4. He'll try to attract your attention: Any exaggerated movement or gesture usually means he's trying to stand out from the group. Another giveaway: he'll unconsciously detach from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual.

5. He'll stroke his tie or smooth his shirt: We all know what these preening gestures mean. They're the equivalent of the female lip lick - "I want to look good for you."

6. He'll smooth or muss up his hair (the male equivalent of the female "hair touch".)

7. His eyebrows remain slightly raised while you're talking: A slightly surprised, quizzical expression means he finds you fascinating. This is preferable to a man who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes. That one simply finds you boring.

8. He'll fiddle with his socks and pull them up: If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it's an almost 100 per cent sign he's interested and trying to look his best.

9. Everything is erect: He'll stand with all his muscles pulled tight, to show his body off to best advantage. He'll also stand directly in front of you to show full attention, and lean forward to get closer.

10. He'll let you see him checking out your body: Some experts call it 'visual voyaging' - his eyes take a little cruise around your body, stopping momentarily at the prettiest ports. Don't kid yourself: he scanned your body automatically the second he laid eyes on you. The difference here is he's letting you see him do it. The message: I'm considering you as a sexual partner.

11. He'll give you a crotch display: He'll spread his legs while sitting opposite, to give you a crotch display. He's letting you have a good look at what's on offer.

12. He'll move into the "cowpoke stance:" The cowpoke is a primary male courtship gesture of the Western world. He locks his thumbs in his belt or belt loops, points his finger down towards his genitals, spread his legs about shoulder distance apart, and tilts his head to one side.

13. He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you: If likes you, he'll stroke his cheek up and down with the back of his fingers, touch his ears, or rub his chin. It's a combination of nervous excitement, preening, and autoerotic touching.

14. He'll start squeezing his glass: When men are sexually interested, they start playing with circular objects. Why? They remind him of your breasts: his body is 'leaking' what's happening in his subconscious mind.

Dimitri the Lover: SideMan Exposed

In my book The Dirty Seven: Ladies Beware, I list the seven types of men on the dating scene, who are dead ends as lovers, mates, or husbands. They are actively seeking a relationship with you, but are unable to sustain a happy one, for you. SideMan is one example.

SideMan is already in a relationship with someone else, and he either tells you about it up-front, or allows you to discover it on your own. If he tells you about it, he says he and his wife/live-in girlfriend live separate lives and they don't have sex. If he does not tell you, and you discover it, he says "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lose you."

SideMen are abundant. They are looking for variety. A little something on the side. To spice up their day. Let's take the example of Canada's infamous Dimitri the Lover. He was a physician who came on to his female patients and lost his license as a result. Here is his explanation:

"At the time, I was married. And my wife was sexually dysfunctional, I had not had sex with her in a year and a half. It was a very tough time, I was very horned up. And I was busy, between that and working, so for me it was easy to hit on chicks that were patients."

Let's dissect his statement. He had not had sex with his wife for a year and a half. He blames his wife for this, not reflecting on how he contributed to the situation. Instead of attempting to fix the problem at home, he points the finger at the "dysfunctional" wife. As a physician, the only solution he could find was to get it on with women on the side.

"It was a tough time because I was very horned up." This is a plea for pity. We are supposed to feel sorry for him. This makes it all right that he abused the presumed relationship of trust between a doctor and a patient. But he was busy, so we should understand.

"And I was busy, between that and working . . ." Between what and working? Between being horned up and working? Too busy to sustain a mutually fulfilling relationship with someone I'm married to, or get out. So I will get off on the convenient slab of flesh at hand, my captive audience. Hey, it happens to be a patient who is depending on my services as an ethical practitioner. But I'm strapped for time and my horny little Willy is calling. Can't you idiots understand that?

". . . so for me it was easy to hit on chicks that were patients." Yes, it was easy. Some were ill and vulnerable. Besides, these patients were "chicks." What an educated, enlightened way to refer to the piece of meat you are hitting on because you are so horned up. Chicks and bulls. The poetry of the SideMan cannot be surpassed. He will bring you flowers too. But remember, you are always the action on the side to the SideMan.

Flavor of Lust 3

"Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places," might be the sub-title for VH1's show "Flavor of Love 3." As with "Rock of Love 2," this show's premise is that the star will find true love amidst a flurry of exposed breasts, mini skirts, and attention-getting tactics. Loud-mouthed self-aggrandizement and abject hero-worship make the contestants sillier and sillier each season. It's a mistake to think that the show has anything to do with love at all. That's one of the things that makes it funny.

Flavor Flav is a humorous guy, who seems to be in on the joke. Part of the fun is that he looks like a sea-monkey who needs re-hydration, while the girls are fawning all over him. Part of the fun is the absurd idea that love is based on contests of wit, skill, and exposed flesh. Did I say "wit?" There isn't much displayed. Lack of intelligence makes the show a comedy. Lack of emotional intelligence makes it a symbol for what is not working in today's dating and mating scene.

On the last episode, the mean-spirited "roast," in which the girls denigrated each other on stage, nobody came out looking good. At the end of the show, Flavor Flav announces, "One clock, two bodies left." He refers to the women as "bodies." Very appropriate. He bestows the clock on the winning "body" and the loser goes off shattered.

Nobody's relating on any level other than the most superficial. The women are willing to plunge their tongues into his mouth, rub up against him, and claim that he is their man. They are willing to say cutting and cruel things about each other to bolster their value in his eyes. It's the survival of the nastiest.

The fact that this is Flavor Flav's third attempt to find love this way is a statement in itself about the effectiveness of this method for finding a mate.