14 Sure-fire ways to tell he's interested

Body language cannot be denied. It can be a better way of communicating than through words. I extracted these 14 foolproof signs that a man wants to be (much) more than friends, from a book called Superflirt, by relationship expert Tracey Cox.

1. He'll give you an eyebrow flash: When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they like us back they raise their eyebrows too.

2. His lips part:If he likes what he sees, his lips will automatically part for a moment when your eyes first lock.

3. His nostrils flare and his face generally "opens": The raised brows, parted lips, flaring nostrils and wide eyes give the whole face a friendly "open" expression.

4. He'll try to attract your attention: Any exaggerated movement or gesture usually means he's trying to stand out from the group. Another giveaway: he'll unconsciously detach from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual.

5. He'll stroke his tie or smooth his shirt: We all know what these preening gestures mean. They're the equivalent of the female lip lick - "I want to look good for you."

6. He'll smooth or muss up his hair (the male equivalent of the female "hair touch".)

7. His eyebrows remain slightly raised while you're talking: A slightly surprised, quizzical expression means he finds you fascinating. This is preferable to a man who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes. That one simply finds you boring.

8. He'll fiddle with his socks and pull them up: If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it's an almost 100 per cent sign he's interested and trying to look his best.

9. Everything is erect: He'll stand with all his muscles pulled tight, to show his body off to best advantage. He'll also stand directly in front of you to show full attention, and lean forward to get closer.

10. He'll let you see him checking out your body: Some experts call it 'visual voyaging' - his eyes take a little cruise around your body, stopping momentarily at the prettiest ports. Don't kid yourself: he scanned your body automatically the second he laid eyes on you. The difference here is he's letting you see him do it. The message: I'm considering you as a sexual partner.

11. He'll give you a crotch display: He'll spread his legs while sitting opposite, to give you a crotch display. He's letting you have a good look at what's on offer.

12. He'll move into the "cowpoke stance:" The cowpoke is a primary male courtship gesture of the Western world. He locks his thumbs in his belt or belt loops, points his finger down towards his genitals, spread his legs about shoulder distance apart, and tilts his head to one side.

13. He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you: If likes you, he'll stroke his cheek up and down with the back of his fingers, touch his ears, or rub his chin. It's a combination of nervous excitement, preening, and autoerotic touching.

14. He'll start squeezing his glass: When men are sexually interested, they start playing with circular objects. Why? They remind him of your breasts: his body is 'leaking' what's happening in his subconscious mind.

Advice: Being good at sex

"I’m 39 and have not had sex for 8 years. Before that I had only a few sex partners, though one in my early twenties was my partner of 3 years. In my mid twenties I explored my sexuality and had relationships with women. Since my late twenties I have ‘come back’ to heterosexuality, though it has always seemed more in my mind than anything else because I have not had a relationship nor sex for 6 years.

"A bad break up kept me out of the game for a long time but since I’ve moved on from that I just haven’t met anyone I’ve liked and wanted to pursue a sexual relationship with. As a result, my self-esteem has taken a dive in recent years. I have had people interested in me during this time but I haven’t felt the same. However, I met someone 2 weeks ago, It was never going to be a serious relationship, he is much younger (27) and we have very little in common but we liked each other, so why not have some fun.

"We had sex for the first time on Fri and it was a disaster. I had not prepared myself (nor him!) for the fact that I would be so out of practice, inexperienced and not very good at all! It was embarrassing and a bit of a shock to me but I’ve since tried to get my head around it - of course I’m not going to be the great lover I imagined with so little practice under my belt! However, I’m now struggling with self esteem again.

"When I begin a new relationship, not only am I going to be thinking about the usual - am I interesting? Am I funny? But now - what happens when he discovers I’m terrible in bed and totally inexperienced? Obviously the way to get better at something is to practice but I’ve never slept around, picked up guys in bars. etc. The only sexual relationships I’ve had have been with people I care deeply about.

"During sex last Friday, the main problem for me was keeping the rhythm going so that we were moving together, I’d suddenly lose the pace or rhythm. Neither of us came and it was embarrassing. So, this may seem a ridiculous question but how can I get better at it without having to put myself through this embarrassing time after time. Is there anything I can practice on my own or do with the person I’m in bed with to help me? (He held my hips to help me move with him but it still didn’t work).

"A loving and understanding partner to help me, would obviously be the ideal solution, but in the absence of that is there anything I could do practically while I’m not in a relationship - other than sleeping around - or anything I can read that will help me? I’m open to any help and suggestions. Thanks, xxxxxxxxxx"

My Advice:
1. You have only known this guy for two weeks. If you are the type of person (like many) that needs to get to know someone and feel connected, before you sexually respond, two weeks is not enough time. Combine this with the apprehension you must have felt after not being in bed with anyone for a while and it’s no wonder that you wound up in your uncomfortable situation.

2. Rhythm is not always an automatic thing. You both need to find a rhythm that works for each other. If he gets caught up in his own rhythm instead of falling into yours, of course you will become mismatched as you try to catch up. Connected, comfortable, passionate, sex requires patience, sometimes. It also requires attraction. If the attraction isn't there, then why even bother? You will be using each other as human blow-up dolls.

3. Do you understand what you like during sex? While you may not have had much experience, it doesn’t stop you from knowing what turns you on. Tell the person you are in bed with what you like.

4. If you have to work that hard at it, it is obvious to me that you have not met the right person. This is because when you are truly interested and are in love with that person, all the questions about right and wrong technique fly out the window. You just want to be with them physically and your movements become natural as you enjoy yourself with them.

When it comes to being with someone, I suggest -
1. Take your time before you have sex. You are a person that needs to have sex with someone she knows and feels at ease with. Just having sex for fun, as you did the other night, is not your style, so no wonder it didn't work
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2. Tell you sex partner that it’s been a while and to take their time. They’ll probably be turned on by this.

3. Have fun with foreplay. This again comes naturally when you really like a person. However, if you are going through the motions because you think this is what you should do, it won't work either.

4. Relax. When you give off tense vibes is kills the sexual pleasure for both.

5. Maybe you like women better and that is why sex with a man does not come naturally to you.

If your self-esteem is tied to your sexual abilities, you’re putting yourself in an awkward position. You won't have good sex because you are so worried about how bad you are in bed. Then you will be bad in bed and your self-esteem will plummet further. Then you will be afraid next time the sexual opportunity crops up.

I realize that the reason you haven't had sex for a long time is because you are recovering from a break-up. But you can set yourself free from past relationships, have closure, and move on. This will give you the freedom to enjoy yourself--with or without sex, with a man, or possibly in your case, a woman. And it may just be that: Being with a man does not turn you on and therefore it is a struggle instead of your natural instinct taking over.

Butt, but, but: The trend in butt implants

Are you willing to spend up to $10,000 for a bigger, firmer butt? Thousands of women and men have gotten butt implants to make themselves more sexually attractive. They're willing to shell out the cash as well as travel to Argentina and Brazil to make their butts bigger or perkier. It is part of the designer body and face trend, which ranges from the inflated trout pout lip to the "design-a vagina," to the all-over insanity of The Cat Lady who distorted her features to look more like a cat (and ended up looking like a lion with leprosy).

Fix-a-butt
Lack of self-confidence compels people to re-create their bodies to the extent it has been happening in recent history. They may feel that they are sexually unattractive as they are because of unrealistic media images and their own self-hatred. If only their butts stuck out like J-Lo's all their problems would be solved. But as with all plastic surgery, butt augmentation has its down-side. With buttock augmentation, there is a possibility that the implants may shift and cause the buttocks to appear asymmetrical. Another complication is that the butt implants may rupture, or break. Many times patients will not be aware of complications until days or months after the procedure has been performed.

Ouch!
The implants are made from silicone. The procedure takes about an hour and a half and is often performed by making an incision in the fold between the buttock "cheeks" and inserting a solid silicone implant into the pocket below the gluteus muscle and above the pelvic bone. The implants do not move. As with all implants the body may reject them.

Bowling balls
Sometimes, as in the picture, the results are so unnatural as to be grotesque. Also they may feel like bowling balls. The butt implants may feel too hard to touch, so even if you do not have scars, your partner may figure out that your butt is not your own. It is, but it is not your original butt.

Ouch again!
The recovery period is long and can be problematic. The usual complications such as bleeding, infections, are not very sexy. As Doctor Jan Adams from the TV program "Plastic Surgery - Before and After" said, "You do not walk with your breasts." But you do use your butt to walk, sit, and sleep. Dr Adams was referring to the fact that butt implants have some unique challenges to heal during the recovery period. For instance, you cannot sleep on your back or sit for long periods of time, and that can make the whole process of recovery somewhat challenging for most women.

As with most implants, it is a life long commitment. You have to maintain a stable weight and you may need to change the implants after a 10-year period. Pregnancy may affect the original results as well.

Deadly
If you think that silicone injections are safer than the full implant, think again. They can result in death, as they did recently for a lady in the Bronx.

Plastic people
Plastic bodies with oversized flotation devices for breasts and hardened balloons for butts are the next step towards the totally artificial person. Who are you after you have undergone so many surgeries? Who is being loved? Who is doing the attracting? Is it the plastic surgeon who created the new you? Are you both composites of silicone and other materials?

I recommend natural bodies,with all their flaws and idiosyncrasies--feeling pleasure and love, without the possibility of fatal complications or ridiculous results.